if i haven't yet sent you the URL, and you feel you need it, please email me and ask for it.

and i will have big news for you shortly.

i don't know whether the laptop can be resurrected yet. until then i'm largely incommunicado during non-work-hours, except by old-fashioned telephone. i certainly don't have time to wade through comment spam during work hours, either, so comments are unfortunately closed.

which is tragic, because i would like to provide a place here for people to leave their condolences about the second death: betty hutton.

any of you who have listened to divaville know of my love for betty hutton. she was a spitfire, a balled-up tornado of an actress. one whose goofiness and energy will never be matched. she had everything you'd ever want in a leading lady: a voice, a look, a sense of humor. she passed away on monday and i cannot express how sad i am that she is gone. my outlet will be this week's show... i'm going to devote all two hours of divaville (3-5pm sunday) to betty's music. i would take over the whole day's programming if i could.

here a link to an obit at the new york times and one at the washinton post.

turner classic movies is changing their schedule on thursday in her honor. do please try to catch at least one of her films. if you can't do that, rent "annie get your gun" on DVD. it will change your life. i am not overexaggerating.

finally, here's betty's wikipedia entry.

rest in peace, betty.

i initially had a good attitude about this, having heard the airline rep say that most baggage is found and delivered within 24 hours. in fact, chances were good, she said, that my bag would be on the next flight from chicago (where it was last scanned) and would be waiting for me at the hotel when i woke up.

so with that small sense of peace, my co-worker and i checked in to the hotel and then immediately headed out for a quick spin around our downtown neighborhood. we went to the river, just three blocks away. it was a beautiful day. i didn't even miss my coat, which i had smartly packed away in my suitcase. (i always do that at the airline check-in counter... take off my coat and stuff it in my bag so that i don't have to deal with it on the airplane. perhaps i'll think twice about that in the future.)

we visited voodoo doughnut, which -terrifyingly- is one block from our hotel. i'm going to need to force myself to stay away from there. we decided to top it off with a proper dinner, so we stopped at a food cart on the street and had some thai food. it was actually astoundingly delicious. we got a MOUND of food for $5 each. and "lady thai" was so smiley and sweet.

we headed back to the hotel to eat (because, frankly, the sun was starting to set and my good fortune of having warm weather was quickly ending). my co-worker loaned me one of his wool sweaters to help me warm up, and we pored over the map the hotel had given us (my personal map had -duh- been packed into my missing suitcase) and considered where to go next.

while eating, though, we suddenly realized how incredibly tired we both were. we had woken up at 3am to catch our flight, and neither of us had been able to sleep on the plane (even though we had been blessed with comfy first-class seats). our travels were finally catching up with us. the co-worker actually had a conference session the next day (from 9am-5pm) so he decided to hit the sack early -- though by local time it wasn't even 6pm yet. i agreed that an early evening in would be good, so i said goodnight to him and headed back to my room.

i callled the front desk and asked for a toothbrush and toothpaste. i found a wireless connection and surfed around a bit, checking out online maps of the area i was in. i started thinking more and more about "what if"... what if my luggage didn't arrive overnight? what was i going to wear tomorrow? i was meeting an old roommate of mine for a tour of the city the next day... i hadn't seen him in years, and i didn't want to impress him with my stinky clothes. also, i don't like to sleep nude, and i certainly didn't want to go to bed in the clothes i'd been travelling in. hrm...

so, spur-of-the-moment, i decided to go for a walk and see if i could find a clothing store. from my googling, i knew there was a shopping center called "pioneer place"... it would be a long walk, but i was driven by my desire for clean clothes. i headed out (with the wool sweater for warmth) and got all of 4 blocks before discovering a ross. hallelujah!

i walked out an hour later with a warm, weather-resistant jacket, a shirt, two pairs of underwear, a dress, and some cheap workout clothes that i could sleep in. $70. i got back to the hotel, got ready for bed, and collapsed without ever checking to see if my room gets free HBO.

i didn't sleep well, though. i kept waking up to see if there was a "message waiting" light on my phone, letting me know my bag had arrived from the airport. suffice to say, even when i got out of bed at 6:30am the light was not lit. i called the front desk to make sure my bag wasn't down there. it wasn't. i called the airline again; they still hadn't found my luggage. i sighed, and clad in my new workout clothes, i went down for the free hotel breakfast. on the way, i asked about the nearest drug store. i now know the location, and as soon as i post this i'm going to walk there to buy some deodorant, makeup, and a few other things i can't live without.

i'm very glad my part of the conference does not begin until monday. (well, there's an opening reception tonight. for which i have a dress.) so i have basically another full day to figure things out. i think there's a coin laundry of the second floor of the hotel... at the very least i can keep washing the dress, my travel clothes, my dress, the travel clothes, each day until my suitcase arrives.

the question about the panties bothers me, though. i try not to wear plain ol' clothes right off the rack -- i like to wash them first to get the ick off from countless tryers-on before i wear them myself. i can live without that step in this instance, but the underwear is another thing. i'm pretty sure no one has tried them on prior to me buying them, but they've been handled by lord-knows-how-many people before i purchased them. i don't have time to wash them before wearing them today. for me, this might be the most difficult part of this whole adventure.

the spam still manages to get through. comments are off... FOREVER. or at least until i have another burst of energy to direct towards figuring it out.

am busy. TOO busy. stressed-out-like-nothing-in-recent-memory busy. work is nuts. going on a business trip to portland on saturday. my birthday is coming up and people want to know what are you doing?. i don't know! i'm too busy to figure it out!

the neurologist's office has fucked up the results of my blood test AGAIN. i have now been waiting ONE WHOLE MONTH for the results of a test that is supposed to determine whether i get immediately referred to a stroke speciliast. the immediacy now seems laughable. the doctor has apologized, and sounds frustrated himself. he has also promised a referral to the stroke specialist anyway, so that SHE can run the mysteriously difficult test for herself. plus some other diagnostic tests, too, i understand.

but my neurologist WILL NOT CALL ME BACK. i've phoned, emailed and *faxed* him, asking about how to get this referral appointment made. i'm leaving town saturday; it would be nice to have this scheduled before i go.

argh!

i had a nightmare last night about having another TIA. in my dream, the TIA came while i was on the air at work. it was not a nice dream. fucking frightening, in fact. i stuttered into the mic, and had that horrible feeling of knowing something is wrong in my brain, but not being able to communicate that fact to anyone. in the dream i had the presence of mind to shut the mic off before collapsing to the floor.

the gym is my biggest stress-reliever right now. i cannot believe how much i love going to the gym. to say i'm surprised by my addiction is an understatement. (i've got a number of free 14-day passes, if you're a woman and you're interested in checking it out for yourself.) i've lost 4 pounds since joining at the end of january.

also, my boyfriend is a good stress-reliever. he's a sweet, sweet boy and i love him very much. we cooked a nice valentine dinner together last night --making up a recipe as we went-- and it turned out really well. plus, the chocolate bon-bons for dessert were awesome.

i built a memorial page to him on the station's website. this is my job, but it's actually a privilege -- i've had the honor of reading hundreds of loving comments from his friends and listeners, and posting them online. these comments are making me feel good. he made such a huge impact on so many people's lives... his enthusiasm, dedication and his voice. that voice, i'll never forget.

the raleigh paper wrote an article on him today. memorial services are monday.

this is what's happening in my traffic circle right now:

from a distance this hardly seems like anything at all. the pole from the new year's celebration is still in the middle, but this new thing has been strung around it.

i had to get really close to see that it's some sort of global warming message. those are flimsy swimsuits strung on the line with the signs.

then there's the traffic circle in the adjacent neighborhood, which has gone totally abstract:

here's a closeup shot. i have no idea what it means. it's nutso, but that's perfectly ok. at least it slows people down as they approach the intersection.

but first, bras.

do you remember this? my post on the pennyrich bra patch? i got an email today from a reporter at the N&O, telling me that the owner --sally-- is apparently trying to sell her business and retire... a revelation that shocked the reporter (who is also a customer) into writing an article about sally and her store.

the reporter contacted me after discovering my blog post about the bra patch; i allowed her to interview me immediately. we talked about our mutual admiration sally, a woman who could literally size you up in 10 seconds and put you in the best-fitting bra you could have ever imagined. she is more than a saleslday... she has a gift. her working life --or at least 36 years of it-- has been spent getting women into the proper bra. she's amazing.

and now she's leaving the biz. which i find very sad.

so if you need a bra, hurry on over there. who knows when she'll get a buyer.

(the N&O article will probably run on friday.)

ok, i need your help.

i think i'm beginning to understand this new spam-catching feature... 99.5% of the junk appears to be dealt with swiftly and appropriately, but i need to make sure that valid comments aren't getting junked as well.

so, leave a comment, if you would. are you getting a "wait for approval" message? does your comment look at all like it could be spam? (are you mentioning viagra, for instance?)

one day this will all be sorted out and we can go back to our regular diet of shoe blogging...

i have upgraded to the latest version of moveable type. a version that professes excellent spam blockage.

this silly photograph is my test post. comments are open. will the spammers get me?

my doctor called a couple days ago to tell me the lab re-ran the WRONG TEST, and that i needed to come in for another blood draw. i did that this morning and encountered the Horrid Phlebotemist again. i'm really going to have to make a point to complain to the right person this time. he just creeps me out.

i joined a gym. i had my first workout today. i feel GREAT! (might i add, though, that whoever invented the elliptical machine is most certainly going to burn in hell.) this is s a very small, independent gym for women and so far the vibe feels really right. i've never been big on group exercise, but perhaps this place will change me.

we might have a squirrel in our attic. this happened a couple of years ago, so i knew to immediately call critter control and make an appointment. after hanging up the phone, though, it occurred to me that i'd just spent a shitload of money on a gym membership and i really didn't have any left over for critters. so i decided to take matters into my own hands.

i circled the house, looking for entry points. i didn't find any, but i didn't get up on a ladder for a close look or anything. i went to lowes and bought mouse poison (in case i was wrong about the type of critter) and a humane squirrel trap. ray and i got up in the attic last night and spread the mouse poison around, and baited the squirrel trap with nuts.

i didn't hear any more scurrying last night, so i half expected to see something in the trap this morning. what i saw in the trap this morning was a lack of nuts, but no squirrel. no disturbance of the mouse poison, either.

i reloaded the trap with peanut butter. we'll try again.

comments are still off (sorry!) because the very second i turn them back on i get inundated with hundreds of spam messages. maybe one day i'll figure out a way around that, but not right now.

he first asked about my headaches. they seem to come in waves, i told him. i had a series of relatively severe headaches around christmas. these days they're infrequent and mild. he gave me a prescription for industrial-strength naproxen to better treat the ones i get, and asked if i'd like to try any medications to help prevent future headaches. i shied away from the idea, saying i felt like i was still in a data-gathering phase... november (the date of the TIA) wasn't really all that long ago, and i don't yet have a good sense for whether headaches are now a permanent fixture in my life. i prefer to NOT take medication if i don't have to. he told me that if i'm averaging two headaches a week i should consider prevention medication. i'm basically at that threshhold, but am not quite ready to jump on board with the drugs. he respected my decision.

he then revealed that my last series of blood tests finally showed something abnormal. honestly, part of me jumped for joy. an explanation for the TIA! of course, i immediately braced myself for bad news... but bad news could be good news, in a way. at least, finally, i might have a diagnosis and possibly a route towards treatment in preventing any more from occuring.

he said that within the series of "anti-cardiolipin" tests, my "IgM" had come back abnormal. off the charts, really. a normal range is between 1-14. a high positive is 40. mine was a 65. and the lab had repeated the test to confirm the results. yep, i'm a 65. (the other two anti-cardiolipin tests he ran --IgG and IgA-- were both normal.)

so what does this mean? he's not entirely sure. he says a high IgM could indicate a tendency towards stroke, though from what i gathered this is a relatively new indicator for stroke. he said that many women after miscarriage produce a high IgM level. high IgM can also be an indicator for lupus. but that's basically all the information he was able to tell me. he ordered another anti-cardiolipin panel to confirm that i still have a high IgM level. when these results come back, if i'm still off the charts he'll immediately refer me to a "stroke specialist" for further diagnostics. (this neurologist i've been seeing specializes in headaches and not stroke.)

so, i'm back to waiting for test results. he said he'll call me when the results are in (a week, maybe two). until then, i have google searches to keep me occupied.

oh yeah, the guy who drew my blood today was the same dude to preached creationism to me last time. today, though, he was listening to a morning talk show on the radio. the DJs were yammering about this story, which is astounding.

*-*-*-*-*

finally, an explanation on the lack of updates here.

my absence is due to 1) a general lack of interest in posting, 2) a newfound appreciation for being "off-line", and 3) overwhelming amounts of comment spam.

my lack of interest in blogging seems to be cyclical. i remember feeling the same way this time last year. same song, different verse.

the off-line stuff refers to more than just the internet. i'm also turning the TV off more frequently. sitting quietly with a crossword puzzle. making more plans with friends. it's been nice. (in fact, i'm a bit irked that preparing this post has taken almost an hour of my time.)

and finally, the comment spam. jeebus, the spam has been insane. i finally just turned off comments altogether -- i was getting more than 200 spam comments a day at times. none of it actually gets posted to the blog (i've got MT blacklist to prevent that) but i do get an email each time a spam comment gets blocked. the spam sits on my server, "waiting for approval" from me. i could ignore it, but then all of the spam simply amasses in size, taking up megabytes of space. it was all just a major headache. (har!) and yes, i could upgrade, or change software... but i'm really enjoying being off-line. figuring out how to combat comment spam sounds phenomenally unappealing right now.

i guess i'll open up comments for this post, but i'll likely shut them off again within a few days if the spammers begin to strike once more.

we loved this sight, and *we* took a photo of *them* being photographed, and laughingly told the couple that we'd use *our* photo of them as *our own* christmas card. of course, what with TIAs and all we never got around to it, but the photo is below.

happy holidays, everyone. peace on earth.

ray was watching CNN, and i was sort of ingesting the story as i was doing something else. the tv was basically background noise until i heard that conference call; i stopped everything. i heard the senator stutter, search for words, say something about "frustrating", and i *felt* his situation. i was right there with him. tears came to my eyes and i experienced the deepest sympathy for this man. clearly, he suffered something more severe than i did, but hearing his aphasia brought my experience rushing back to me.

whew.

you can see a 4 minute CNN video here, with audio of the conference call and a doctor's explanation of the AVM that caused him to be rushed into surgery.